Bhoomi's diary

I think I had the worst day of my life.
I was at this intercollege competition.
I don’t care about losing, but it felt like my teammate didn’t even try.
My reality just came crashing down on me.
I’m not happy.
I’m lonely 
I’m dying a little inside every day.
I had a choice.
I’m suffering its consequences.
I wish I had a clue what I was getting myself into.
I wish someone had guided me.
I dove right in without knowing anything.
And I realized how lonely life is.
I’m not scared, but I’m confused.
I’ve got no clue what’s going on.
It’s a big city, and I’m just a girl.
They call this growing up; they call it expanding my world.
I’m so fucking alone in this journey.
Living the ‘You’re on your own, kid’
The number of times life has tested me these past weeks
I’ll be crying a river.
I’m so exhausted every day. 
The travel sucks
College itself sucks because they all know each other, and I simply don’t.
I’m acquaintance zoned.
I wish I had my person.
I miss my old, small life.
Here’s the thing about city life:
It’s lonely, it’s fast, and it’s depressing.
I’m not struggling academically, but emotionally.
Maybe I’ll get the hang of it, but it’s been a month.
I miss the security and assurance that came with my old life.
Right when I felt like I was starting to feel secure in my life, my grades were starting to stabilize, my anxiety was manageable, and for the very first time in my life, I had the best friends of my life.
My life was practically uprooted.
I don’t feel like I belong; i don’t feel like this city life suits me, even if it’s my own city.
These rich people make me feel like I’m nothing.
I don’t have an undo button in my life.
Maybe in the future it’ll get better, but for now
You’re on your own, kid. (I’m listening to that song while typing this.)
And as sad as it is, maybe it’s for the best to learn to be truly alone.
Now I live in the real world. It’s lonely, it’s ruthless, it’s scary, and it’s depressing, but it’s real.
It’s not a sheltered life; it’s real life.